Otter · Paw · Prints

So in the amateur psychology of Scott, I have an "Anger Problem". So I did some soul searching and Googling.
I'd say this one is inconclusive at best. Most of the definitions of an anger management issue are a bit broad. Like "Do you EVER use abusive language?" on assessment asked. Yep, and find me a single human who hasn't I beg you. "Do things of little consequence irritate you?" Uh huh, and again find me a majority of normal people who are not irritated by stupid shit.
On that note, I want to scream at Scott "HELLO, I AM DAYNNELL! HAVE WE MET?". I have always been an irritable person. Since day one. All my life. Let's face it, it's genetic. Most of the people in my family have a pretty low threshold for nonsense. I am also not big on people in general. This apparently was cute or exciting at one point, but the bloom is off the rose.
Scott thinks that me submitting to therapy once a week will "cure" me of being an cranky little thing. Not really likely. And it might make things worse since I believe we have a "we" problem not a "me" problem and I forecast that my dutiful bi-weekly meetings with a twitchy little man who asks me "And how does that make you feel?" 20 times an hour and isn't all that sure I need to be there either, is going to make less resentful or angry in general. I don't really feel like changing. Most of my anger is kept to myself and I try really hard to channel that energy into motivation to get off my ass and get things. I have earned my right to be mad as hell. There are some scars that I have accepted aren't going to heal ever and will always be tender. What everyone perceives as this great patience is really just out and out stubbornness.
My once paramour, Dave, got it right when he said that he could see that I was a fighter, but he also said that I had to be pushed into a corner before the claws came out.I have hit the wall lately. I don't feel like I can win no matter what I do and I wonder what the prognosis of my relationship is, worry that it's really not good, since the bar has been raised and I am not sure I can, nor that I want to reach it.
Some where along the line a man's expectations of me get skewed.
I don't really feel like changing. I don't feel as though I need changing and that Scott's expectations that I am going to go all Suzie Sunlight are bit far fetched since he was the one who got me into the whole bleak chic Randesque thing in the first place. I was a really gothie wild thing when he met me and though I have (even he agrees) settled down a lot, somehow all of that is not good enough. Some how when I was all fishnets and mascara it was okay to be angry. Now that I am more a sweaters and jeans girl, it is not.
I also don't see the point of me changing a heck of a lot when he is and intends to stay the same Scott as always. Believe me he is far, FAR from perfect. But some how I mostly deal with his laundry list of issues rather gently. But being the nurturing woman, I guess it is my duty to accept him for who he is and try to cope even when I would really like to tell him to pull his act together or get over it or stop whining.
Some how I have inherited all the cause of all our problems, title and deed. Oh yea! Lucky me.
Perhaps the answer to my anger management issue is simple. QUIT PISSING ME OFF!

If I see one more surly article about how awful Valentine's day is- I am gonna hurl! And considering I had raspberry yougurt for lunch, that would not be really pretty. Not at all.

Life isn't fair people! I have had my share of shitty valentine's days, which is to say 99.9% of them prior to meeting Scott. But I never grudged anyone their mushiness or rained on anyone's parade. So you're single. So your boyfriend's an ass. Big fucking deal. Get over and get on with your life.

I don't have and I will never be a mother so I don't get to celebrate mother's day really. I don't write long angsty articles on how to cope with being motherless or childless. I don't go on and on for pages about all that is wrong with mother's day. Ditto for father's day.

Breathe a sigh of relief this V-Day. The pressure is off. You don't have to get dressed up or buy flowers or candy or other trinkets. Buy yourself a good bottle of wine and a nice box of chocolates and gorge yourself while in a nice hot bath with all of the smellgoods. Then practice some self gratification. Tomorrow be happy.

Let's face it: No one wants a sad sack. Maybe if you just wiped that "Oooh woe is me!" Look off of your face the opposite sex would stop shying away from you.

Now excuse me. I have Valentines to open!